Europe’s Expected Dominance

The continent that treats financial fair play regulations as mild suggestions came out swinging. A 6-5-1 record with a +19 goal difference confirms what we all know: when UEFA clubs bother to take this tournament seriously, they’re still the apex predators. Bayern Munich’s 10-0 demolition of Oceania’s Auckland City was particularly brutal - I’ve seen more competitive training sessions at Sunday league matches.

South America’s Resilient Showing

While Europe grabbed headlines, CONMEBOL representatives quietly went undefeated (3W-3D). Flamengo’s 2-0 win over Tunisia’s Esperance and River Plate’s 3-1 victory against Japan’s Urawa Reds demonstrated that tactical sophistication still thrives below the equator. My algorithm gives them a 37% chance of producing this year’s champion - not bad considering their wage bills are roughly equivalent to Manchester City’s laundry budget.

The Also-Rans

North America (0W-2D-3L) and Asia (0W-1D-3L) performed exactly to expectation - which is to say, poorly. The most entertaining moment came when Saudi Arabia’s Al-Hilal held Real Madrid to a draw, proving even galactic clubs have off days. As for Africa (1W-1D-2L) and Oceania (0W-0D-1L), let’s just say they’re here for the cultural exchange program.

Statistical sidenote: The average xG difference between European and non-European sides was +1.8 per match. Money talks.