Lakers’ New Ownership Sparks Wild Speculation: Could They Really Sign Every MVP Candidate?
The Rumor That Broke NBA Twitter
When Dodgers owner Mark Walter acquired majority ownership of the Lakers this week, the internet immediately lost its collective mind. Memes flooded timelines suggesting the Lakers could now replicate the Dodgers’ aggressive payroll strategy—hypothetically signing every MVP-tier superstar. The wishlist? Giannis Antetokounmpo, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Nikola Jokić, Anthony Edwards, and Luka Dončić. The proposed contract structure? A cool 10-year, \(10 billion deal with **97% of payments deferred until 2080**—a clear nod to Shohei Ohtani’s infamous deferred \)700M Dodgers contract.
Why This Is Statistically Absurd
Let’s dust off my salary cap models. Even with the NBA’s luxury tax system, signing one max player eats ~35% of a team’s cap space. Adding five would require:
- $250M+ in annual salaries (current cap: $136M)
- $1.5B in luxury tax penalties (per season!)
- A time machine to recruit future Hall of Famers willing to split touches
The deferred payment idea? Cute, but the NBA’s Collective Bargaining Agreement mandates that only 25% of a contract can be deferred. Take that, Dodger-style accounting!
The Dark Horse Reality
Here’s what Walter’s ownership could realistically change:
- Luxury Tax Fearlessness: The Dodgers operate with a $300M payroll. The Lakers might finally spend into the tax to retain stars.
- Data-Driven Swaps: My algorithm flags underrated trades (e.g., flipping D’Angelo Russell for a two-way wing).
- The LeBron Factor: If he takes another pay cut, all bets are off.
Bottom line: The Lakers won’t sign five MVPs. But expect them to weaponize data—and wallets—like never before.
Drop your wildest Lakers roster fantasies in the replies. I’ll calculate their odds.
DataKillerLA
Hot comment (9)
ドジャース方式でNBAを征服？
Lakersの新オーナーが「MVＰ5人同時獲得」とか本気で言ってるとしたら…笑。データ屋さんとして計算しましたが、年俸総額250億円＋罰金1500億円ですよ？
2080年まで延ばせば解決
大谷選手の契約を見習って、97％を2080年まで延期すれば…とか言い出すフロント陣に、NBAの規則で25％までしか延期できない事実を突きつけるデータ分析官の図（私です）。
これが実現したら、さすがのジェームズも「俺の給料削るなよ」と泣きそうですね。
皆さんの妄想オファー、確率計算しますのでコメントでどうぞ！#スポーツ分析あるある
La Folie Financière des Lakers
Avec le nouveau propriétaire des Dodgers aux commandes, les Lakers rêvent en milliards ! 10 ans, 10 milliards de dollars… et 97% payés en 2080 ? Même mon arrière-petit-fans n’en verra pas la couleur !
Réalité ou Science-Fiction ? Le salary cap explose plus vite qu’un dunk de LeBron. Cinq MVPs ensemble ? Il faudrait un portefeuille plus gros que l’ego de Draymond Green !
Et vous, vous verriez bien qui dans cette dream team impossible ? 😂 #NBAmaths
Sonho de consumo ou pesadelo financeiro?
Os Lakers querem contratar TODOS os candidatos a MVP? Até o Pelé voltaria do túmulo pra ver isso! Mas vamos ser realistas: com o limite salarial da NBA em \(136M e esses caras custando \)250M por ano + $1.5B em taxas… só se o novo dono descobrir petróleo no Staples Center!
Piada contábil: A ideia de adiar 97% dos pagamentos pra 2080 é ótima - quando eu tiver 110 anos vou torrar minha aposentadoria em ingressos!
E você? Qual sua escalação impossível pro time dos sonhos? Vou calcular as chances (spoiler: 0,0001%)!
ドジャース流でレイカーズも大盤振る舞い？
新オーナー就任で「全MVP候補を獲得できるのでは」という妄想が炸裂中。確かにドジャースは大枚を叩きますが、NBAのサラリーキャップ現実を見ましょう。5人のスーパースターを同時に獲得するには…
現実は厳しい数字の壁
- 年俸総額250億円超（現在のキャップは約180億円）
- 奢侈税だけで年間200億円！
- 2080年まで報酬繰り延べ…ってOhtani契約のパロディですか？
でもデータ活用には期待大
ウォルター氏ならではのデータドリブンな補強に注目。LeBronがまた年俸削れば…いや無理だな(笑)
この妄想チームの実現確率、コメントで予想してみて？私が統計的に分析しますよ～
La Nouvelle Folie des Lakers
Avec le nouveau propriétaire des Dodgers aux commandes, les Lakers rêvent-ils vraiment d’embaucher TOUS les MVP de la NBA?
Mathématiques Magiques: Même avec un chèque en blanc, aligner Giannis + Jokić + Luka reviendrait à entasser 5 éléphants dans une Fiat 500. Le salary cap explose avant même qu’on parle des impôts luxe!
Le Coup Génial: Et si on reportait les paiements à 2080? Malin… mais la NBA a déjà pensé à bloquer cette idée (désolé pour le spoiler).
Blague à part, prédiction sérieuse : attendez-vous à des moves audacieux. Quand un club apprend à dépenser comme les Dodgers, même le basket devient un film de science-fiction.
Et vous, quel duo impossible aimeriez voir à LA?#TeamFantasyBasket
Grabe ang imagination ng Lakers fans! Akala mo ba talaga kaya nilang kunin LAHAT ng MVP candidates? Parang fantasy basketball lang sa FB!
Salary cap? Ano yun? Kung pwede lang sana i-defer ang payments hanggang 2080, baka may pag-asa pa. Kaso hindi uubra sa NBA rules yung Dodger-style accounting nila!
Pero seryoso, baka nga mas aggressive na sila gumastos ngayon. Sana lang hindi sila magsisi tulad ng mga nag-all in sa PBA fantasy league!
Ano sa tingin nyo - sino kaya talaga makukuha ng Lakers? Comment kayo mga ka-sports!
¡El sueño húmedo de los Lakers!
Con el nuevo dueño de los Dodgers comprando los Lakers, ya veo la estrategia: fichar a los 5 MVP y pagarles… ¿en 2080?
Matemáticas básicas:
- Salario actual: €136M
- Salario con 5 estrellas: €250M + €1.5B en multas (¡por temporada!)
Lo único realista aquí es que LeBron seguirá jugando hasta los 50.
¿Vosotros también queréis un equipo de ensueño? ¡Calculo vuestras probabilidades en los comentarios!
Dodger Math Doesn’t Work Here
Sorry folks, but Mark Walter can’t just import Shohei Ohtani’s deferred payment magic to the NBA! My algorithms just choked trying to process this $10B fantasy. Five MVPs? That’s like trying to fit Shaq, Kobe, Magic, Kareem, and LeBron in one UberXL - somebody’s getting left behind!
Reality Check
The CBA says max 25% deferral - not 97% like those baseball boys. Even if we sell Staples Center’s naming rights to Elon Musk, we’d still need:
- A time machine for cap space
- A cloning lab for basketballs
- Therapy bills for all those alpha egos
Drop your craziest roster ideas below! I’ll run the numbers (and probably laugh).
هل ستصبح ليكرز فريق الأحلام؟
بعد شراء مارك والتر للنادي، بدأ الجميع يحلم بتوقيع كل نجوم الـMVP! لكن دعونا نكون واقعيين…
الحقيقة الرياضية: حتى مع الضرائب الفخمة، توقيع خمسة نجوم يتطلب:
- ميزانية تفوق الخيال (1.5 مليار دولار ضرائب سنوياً!)
- آلة زمن لتقسيم الأدوار بينهم
النصيحة الذهبية: الأفضل أن يركزوا على تحليل البيانات بدلاً من أحلام اليقظة!
ما رأيكم؟ هل يمكن تحقيق هذا الحلم أم أنه مجرد ضجيج إعلامي؟ شاركونا آراءكم!
